As I mature

My pal, Alex (PANTS!) sent this to me. Found it cute and thought I would share.

As I mature I've learned that you cannot make someone love you.
All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.

I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes.

I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.

I've learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you'd better have a big boob. (or a nice one. Okay, I altered this a bit)

I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more screwed up than you think.

I've learned that you can keep vomiting long after you think you're finished.

I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.

I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away.

One I would like to add:
I have learned that no matter how much I try, my father just won't spot me the cash to open up my own pork store.