Nancy Gurl, a place of boredom and wonder!

Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Draw the Curtains.........


Sometimes I miss being a little gurl. New things you experience are so much more awesome because they are so effin fresh. Like learning how to read; I mean WOW!
When I was I kid I loved Amelia Bedilia; that biz-ach was my hero. She was a cross between Mr. Miyagi Paint the Fence!, and Mary Poppins, with a pinch of Betty White and Roseanne Barr.

Alright, alright she wasn't any of those things, but I loved her. She was a complete moron and morons deserve their day in the sun. When Amelia was told to dust the tables, she added talcum powder to them. When asked to dress the turkey, she had it stylin in Dior. I mean, this woman is my hero. So I would like to offically make today, Amelia Day in my office. All imbeciles, please take a bow.

And now a few things to ponder:
1. I ate the sticker on my apple. I know this because half the sticker is still chillin on the core.
2. Never get married in October. You will be forced to go to Wisconsin on your honeymoon, since apparently it is the ONLY place that's safe from hurricanes.

Monday, January 30, 2006

Alright already!!!!!

So I have supposedly been "tagged"
If this had been an actually game of tag, I wouldn't have the fucking strength to get up and chase you people--here goes:

Four Jobs I've Had in My Life
1. Game Specialist and FuncoLand

2. Sales Associate at Victoria's Secret
3. Watiress at some snob ass country club
4. Bartender

Movies I could Watch Over and Over
1. Say Anything
2. When Harry Met Sally
3. Moonstruck

4. Old School

Four Places I've Lived
Hoboken, New Jersey

Poughkeepsie, NY
Queens
Upper East Side

Four TV Shows I Love to Watch
Law and Order

The Price is Right
The Cosby Show
Match Game (old)


Four Places I've Been on Vacation
Punta Cana, Dominican Republic

Negril, Jamaica
Detroit, Michigan
Haiti

Four Websites I Visit Daily
Liweddings.com

My people's blogs (which I am currently learning to link on here for all to read)
DailyCandy
Craigslist

Four of My Favorite Foods
SUSHI

Chicken Tikki Marsala
Fried Zucchini
French Fries
Yes, all healthful choices

Four Places I'd Rather Be Right Now
Bed

Beach
5 star hotel
Childhood

Thursday, January 26, 2006

The Three Rs

According to a news report, a certain school in Garden City, MI was recently faced with a unique problem. A number of 12-year-old girls werebeginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the washroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints. Every night, the maintenance man would remove them and the next day, the girls would put them back. Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. He called all the girls to the washroom and met them there with the maintenance man. He explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night. To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, he asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required. He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it. Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.

THE MORAL OF THIS STORY...There are teachers, and then there are Educators.

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

I am beautiful


I hate it when people at my office come up to me and ask me if I have a meeting or an interview just because I woke up today and decided to make myself look like I do when I am not in this god forsaken place.

"Wow, you look nice today--meeting with a client?"

"Why are you so dressed up today?"

"Going on an interview"

I effin hate insulting comments disguised as compliments. Like I am less than you because I refuse to conform to corporate, monchromatic clothing. That I dont always wear pointy shoes or iron my hair pin straight for work. That I would rather spend my free time laughing with friends and going to do fun things rather than iron, or pick and outfit out for my cubicle life.


"Why do you look so nice today?

Why? Because I am fucking beautiful that's why. And this is what happens when I decide shower. Okay? I blow you and your Banana Republic ass out of the water!!!!!!!!! Now, go back to J. Crew and leave me alone.

Homemade Chocolate Cake Rocks!

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Dannon Light and Fit


3 things you need to know about me:
--I am loud
--No one knows what ethnicity I am
--My feet smell worse than anything you could have ever imagined

things I would rather be doing than sitting at this desk and wasting my life away:
--playing with my pug
--Eating cheese Doritos and watching the movie Clue
--Smoking a cigarette--Nah....
--Drinking a mimosa and some swanky hotel and eating a warm Croissant

3 things I am most proud of:
--My education
--My quit of smoking cigarettes
--My fiance. He is the best, and I am so proud of him.

5 people that have influenced my life:
--My Gramma
--My Aunt Yolanda
--A WOman from the bay area
--Mr. Lemos my 10th grade English teacher
--A woman I once met on a train out to Boston

Monday, January 23, 2006

We Shall Never Forget

Elie Wiesel's "Night"

I contemplated for a while on whether or not I would read this account of a teen’s two-year experience in a concentration camp in Auschwitz from 1942 to 1944. Having recently visited the Holocaust Museum in DC, my emotions were already raw and my mind began churning…at 27, I had known so little about this real, 20th century occurrence, except for a chapter or two in high school history books. I knew people were wrongly put to death. I did not know 3 million people were tortured or that babies were flung in the air and shot; victims made to kill their own families or that the world turned their back on humankind. And naively, that people could truly posses such hate, such incredible hate and horror.

Yesterday I bought the book; Elie Wiesel's story of survival is like nothing I ever known. He describes how the spiritual, emotional self can revert back to its primitive animalist ways in order to live, breathe and survive. As I was reading, all I kept thinking of was how young a 14 year-old boy really is. He may be the tallest in his class, may even look 18, but in reality, his heart is innocent; he is still a little boy. At one part of the book, Elie truly begins to question his faith in God, for he feels God abandoned him and his people. While witnessing the hanging of a 5 year-old little boy, one of the prisoners screams, “Where is hope” and Elie thinks to himself that hope is in the eyes of the murdered child.

I mean the book blew me away. I feel so helpless….
Not because of the unbelievable physical abuse and conditions that these people underwent, (they walked more than 22 miles in the snow, many with no shoes on, not eating for 6 days except for the snow off the shoulder of the person in front of them) but of the incredible EMOTIONAL deconstruction that the INDIVIDUAL experienced. When the world discusses the Holocaust we rarely focus on the individual—basic human feelings, emotions. I cannot begin to encourage you to pay the 8 bucks and go get this book. It was a real eye opener for me; on one hand I question could this happen again, but right then I read Elie, asking his father, how could this happen in 1944?

Torture and hate happen everyday and maybe we just choose to ignore it. The notion of --this could never happen to me—in my mind has now disappeared. The Wiesels were a beautiful family of 6; were active in their community; they owned a home and had a great life. They were cattled off to place where no one knew the true depths of hate. Elie truly gives to the readers the emotions that each victim had felt, true fear and immense desperation.

As Elie explains, the number of survivors today is quickly diminishing. In order to not to make the Holocaust a distant memory, we must learn about it, teach it, so generations from now know that something like this really happened, and something like this can never happen again. We are unfortunately all responsible for hate and love. Today the stories have come alive. We cannot let these events become history. We cannot ever forget.

Friday, January 20, 2006

Stop the Insanity


So today I have actually made the decision to lose some SERIOUS pounds. I am joining my old friend WeightWatchers and looking forward to a slimmer, healthier Nancy Gurl.
WW is all about alloting foods certian points value. I have to eat 20 points a day (and a glass of red wine is 2pts, which means the bottle is 8pts, which means the organization might throw me out already, bc I shouldn't even be thinking in these terms). So far this morning I have eaten 1pt. and 19 to go wahoo. Boring-est post ever. EH-GAADS

Thursday, January 19, 2006

Will I ever see a female President of the United States?


Who knows. What I do know is some dudes in France think I may. I am not Blogger-Crafty so below is the whole damn article versus a cute lil' link to it.

Any-effin-who, I am unsure how I would feel about Rice being a possiblity. While I would encourage women in politics to step up to the plate and run, Rice works for the Devil and the Devil would continue to have a home. When all is said and done however, I do not think this country would vote a woman into Office, as this is the same country who voted for the imbecile (shout out to Zimmerman!!) 2 times flat.

AMEN


After Liberia and Chile, could US elect a woman president?
Wed Jan 18, 10:09 AM ET
Americans are getting used to the idea of being led by a female president, with political observers dreaming of a showdown between Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice and Senator Hillary Clinton in the 2008 election.
If polls, a television show about a female president and a prediction by First Lady Laura Bush are any indication, Americans appear willing to follow Liberia and Chile in electing their first woman president.
Before attending the presidential inauguration of Liberia's Ellen Johnson Sirleaf, Africa's first elected female president, Laura Bush predicted last week that a woman would lead the United States someday soon.
"I think it will happen for sure," she said, adding that it will occur "probably in the next few terms of the presidency in the United States."
Reality may imitate art in 2008. "Commander in Chief," which stars Geena Davis as the first female president, became a hit television series after appearing last year. Davis won a Golden Globe for her role on Monday.
A recent Gallup poll for USA Today and CNN showed that 70 percent of Americans said they would probably vote for a woman in 2008.
But before Clinton and Rice can battle for the ultimate power seat in the Oval Office, they would have to become the first women to win the nomination of the top two American political parties.
Republicans and Democrats have yet to pick a woman as a White House nominee, although Geraldine Ferraro was the Democratic vice presidential candidate during Walter Mondale's failed presidential bid in 1984. And Elizabeth Dole tried but failed to win the Republican nomination for president in 2000.
Laura Bush has already made her view on the subject known. She told CNN last week that Rice would be a great Republican candidate to succeed her husband, President George W. Bush, who wraps up the first year of his second term on Friday.
"I'd love to see her run. She's terrific," she said of Rice.
Rice, however, has said she does not want to run for president.
Clinton, who has led potential Democratic candidates in opinion polls, has yet to declare her intentions.
Although neither has said she will run for president, political observers are already pining for a battle between the two powerful women.
Dick Morris, a former adviser to Clinton's husband, president Bill Clinton, co-wrote a book titled "Condi vs. Hillary: The Next Great Presidential Race."
The book imagines a political duel between "two highly accomplished women, partisans of opposite parties, media superstars and quintessentially 21st-century female leaders."
To Morris, only Rice has the potential to reach across the political spectrum to stop Clinton from winning the 2008 election.
While Rice's boss saw his popularity rating plunge last year, the chief US diplomat remained a popular government figure.
After Johnson Sirleaf's inauguration and Chilean president-elect Michelle Bachelet's election victory this week, it is becoming easier to imagine the United States being led by a woman, analysts said.
"It's perfectly possible," said Stephen Hess, a George Washington University professor.
"We're talking on a week in which a woman president was inaugurated in Africa and a woman was elected in Latin America, so this is not any longer so unique," Hess said.
"Here, polls show that gender doesn't really make that much difference anymore," he added.
Women have made gains in the US political landscape, although the United States remains in the 63rd spot worldwide in terms of female legislative representation.
There are 69 women in the 435-member US House of Representatives and 14 female senators in the 100-member Senate.
Clinton has an edge over Rice because she has won an election, while the secretary of state has never run for office, Hess said.
"The odds are greater that it would be Hillary rather than Condi," he said. "You would have to go very far to find a president of the United States who hadn't been elected to some previous office."
Copyright © 2006
Agence France Presse.

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Celebrity Death Pool


Not sure when I why I am going to make this today's post. Maybe bc all sense of morals and just have left my soul minute 46 of waiting for a cab this morning in the torrential-fuck rain. Maybe it's bc I sort of laughed to myself when Fiance's umbrella was dust in the wind. I dont know.

But I do know that my pal Victoria, a lover of Ohio, and I got caught up in this uber-pop cultural phenomenon known as the
Celebrity Death Pool.
What is it you ask? Okay, here is the skinny:
Vic and I pic 20 celebrities (and one alternate, which if you must know is Courtney Love), who we will die this year. Then we rate them from one to 20; 1 being the least probable-least amount of points, 20 being most probable, most amount of points. At the end of the year, team with most points wins CASH!!!!!!!!
25 other wackos are in this pool too.

Now I know what you are thinking. No we didnt have Lou Rawls, foolish as it seems. But we do have Phyllis Diller, George Bush Sr. and Charles Nelson Rielly.
Giddy Up

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Oxford, you say.......


Well anyone who knows me will tell you that my fashion sense could probably best be described as Slob Snob. I love nice things, but love comfortable things even more. For many years, I have been aggressively fighting Corporate garb, as I do not want to resemble the souless slime that I am forced to share my workweeks. I have successfully boycotted the Oxford shirt until now.

Truthfully, the button-down goes against everything Nancy gurl believes in. UGLY, uncomfortable and ugly, this shirt is by far something I never wanted in my wardrobe. In elementary school and high school, I wore one of these babies DAY AFTER DAY. I hate things tucked in. I hate collars. And I certainly hate buttons.
Yesterday, I finally crapped out and purchased one. Point and laugh if you see me rocking it.

Friday, January 13, 2006

Jim

My life
My love
My everything
My disco beat
My world
My b-fry
My pal
My contender
My thoughts
My smile
My words
My pitch
My skin
My nerves
My sanity
My tears
My dreams
My ice cream
My cheerleader
Mine!

Thursday, January 12, 2006

There is no truth.......

This author dude lied in his memoir. A shame really.
Yet, for most people, especially me, that's practically the story of my life! I love
to make my friends laugh and if the climax of my story can pop a steriod, so be it.
My true friends know I am essentric, in short, that I love to see their eyes twinkle with delight. I have been called weird, crazy, a lunatic, certainly a drama queen.
Why split hairs if the guy got arrested once and was nice or three times and he was a ruff neck (ha!!!) I think most people disagree with me, but the whole thing can be equated to a glass of good red wine. SCENERIO: If I go to pour you a glass of red wine and tell you its from my world famous cellar in Tibet and you sip the sweet grape nectar of the gods and say to yourself "YEE HAW! THAT's GOOD GRAPE JUICE" only to learn later that it was Gato Negro $7.00 a bottle cheesy garb, does the wine taste any less wonderful? Was the experience for you less delightful.

The question of the day is: what is the Truth? Is Katie realy pregnant? Have you seen her in person? Is the President telling us what really happened four years ago? Do you really think the guy at the bar thinks you are the most beautiful women/man in the world?
How do I cure the common cold again? Do you really have work to do and you cannot take that call right now? Do you and your mate really have plans on Saturday? Was that movie really fucking phenominal/terrible. See? It's all drama.

Alas, don't publish your story unless its your story. Oprah will bite your face off and eat you with a nice chianti.

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Is Marriage Sacred, Binding or even important anymore



What happened to marriage? What happened? When did we decide that minus the event of marriage, the actual contract of marriage became unimportant?

I want to discuss this Jen, Brad, Angelina thing. I want to discuss it not because I am a celebrity fanatic, but bc I feel that this triangle of love has been thrown in my face for much too long.

Quick Scenerio: Guy and Girl meet, Girl gets Guy, Guy and Girl marry for X number of years. Guy CHEATS on Girl (wife) with Widget. Guy LEAVES Wife and moves in with said Widget, adopts Widgets kids and knocks Widget up.

The End
Awww......

Society's Response? GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Brangelina!!!!!!!!

To me, this is for shit. Why has the public embraced this union? I don't understand why all of this is okay? What has made so many anti-commitment?

When did we become Pro-Angelina and Anti-Aniston?

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Everyone should own a cute cuddly pet



I think you become a different person when you let an animal into your home and your heart. You find a piece of you in this animal and you would do anything for you little cute cuddly baby. Dogs, while more time consuming, can show you much love and affection. Kittens, like the one you see here, are more independent and like to purr and do their own thing. If you are interested in owning a pet to fufill your life and your home you can contact your local ASPCA or animal shelter. But keep in mind, pets smell, they poop, they shed and they usually have only one way of looking at things.

Monday, January 09, 2006

I AM SO SICK!!!!!!

I am so sick
I feel like my throat is begging for me to remove it and sent it to Florida
Friday night was fun, then saturday the pain took over
I hate being so sick. Came to work anyway bc that is what I do
oh well.

525,600 minutes

Friday, January 06, 2006

Little Wedding Humor

I love women!!!!!!!!!!!! We Rock and We RULE

The Perfect Dress
Jennifer's wedding day was fast approaching. Nothing could dampen her excitement - not even her parents' nasty divorce. Her mother had found the PERFECT dress to wear and would be the best dressed mother-of-the-bride ever!A week later, Jennifer was horrified to learn that her father's new young wife had bought the exact same dress! Jennifer asked her to exchange it, but she refused. Absolutely not, I look like a million bucks in this dress, and I'm wearing it," she replied.Jennifer told her mother who graciously said, "Never mind sweetheart. I'll get another dress. After all, it's your special day." A few days later, they went shopping and did find another gorgeous dress. When they stopped for lunch, Jennifer asked her mother, "Aren't you going to return the other dress? You really don't have another occasion where you could wear it."Her mother just smiled and replied, "Of course I do, dear. I'm wearing it to the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding!"

NOW I ASK YA: IS THERE A WOMAN OUT THERE, ANYWHERE, WHO WOULDN'T ENJOY THIS STORY ?

Feelings

Thursday, January 05, 2006

The Proof is the Pugging

I feel bad for the miner guys that died. I mean how could one travel 2 miles down under the ground? That is very scary. I feel bad that the families were given retarded false hope only to be let down by a 'miscommunication'
I also think it is bullshit that a miner only makes somewhere in the $18.00 an hour range. I have no idea what miners do.

I got proofed at a bar last night. I didn't have my ID and me and my crew got booted. It was the highlight of my year.

Quote of the Day: Networked activism appears to form auxh a provisional collective identity through the processes of temporary articulation, facilitated by the mesomobilization of the Internet and the diversification of democratic practice through the appropriation of cultural resources. K. Best

WORD!

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Cleaning out my life


I used to think when I was 19 years old, that at some point good things would happen. I would automatically be married, find a fabulous job, fall into a red BMW and live on top of NYC. While some things are indeed FABULOUS, some things in my old age are not quite what they seem.
For example:
  • fat free yougurt is gross
  • flat shoes are much more comfortable than heels
  • I would rather not get a manicure
  • Cigarettes are bad for you
  • Cute male celebrities I had a crush on in my teens are now playing fathers in shitty TV shows
  • Bruce Willis is Bald, and Moonlighting is over
  • I thought my apartment at this point in my life would certainly have a terrace
  • I still do not know why they take taxes out of my checks
  • I actually get excited about cleaning and TARGET---gross

A bit of information for all of you

A jumper is a garment that you pull over your head, it has no buttons and is like a T-shirt but with longer arms and thicker

Thank you

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

I GOT A MAN! You got a WHAT?!?!?!?!


I have no words for this. And you question why Americans are stereotyped

http://www.overstock.com/cgi-bin/d2.cgi?PAGE=PROFRAME&PROD_ID=1676854

the hug me pillow
when all you need a hand or a foot

An anxiety filled new year....

and it's only 3 days old. I hate going back to work. And no offense, not like you hate to go back, either. I HATE HATE HATE my job
some things for my resolutions of 2006
GET NEW JOB
LOSE 20 pounds
Kiss my fiance more and more--yay!!!!!


I hate my job